he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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