im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
either way he was missing a nipple.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
