For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
