There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
