at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
