If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
whose parrot is this?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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