i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
