I'm so fucking centered right now
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Randomize
