why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
