Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
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