Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
