Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
someone get that fucking seahorse.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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