hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
