im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
