ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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