sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
