I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
