remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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