Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
