watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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