I don't think brook has ever known best
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
So apparently I’m into choking now
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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