Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
