found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
