Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
