I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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