i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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