I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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