it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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