Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
