I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
