ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
