your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
And then he peed in my hair
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