I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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