I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Damn victory sex feels great
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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