what if every blade of grass was a penis?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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