yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
do herpes really smell.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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