I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
