Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
