I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I need a hoe opinion
go on
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
