i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
