one two three fourrrrnication!
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
