There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
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