i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
