OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
