bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
