The maid of honor just puked.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
