At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
