there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
