Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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