i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
